Not A Pity Party...

I have been a little troubled lately. I was suggesting to a child that they should marry a certain individual that I like and deem worthy. Now before everyone starts preaching to me, I want you to know that I have always thought of myself as a wanna be match maker when in fact Danny has been the successful one on a couple of occasions.

Well let me get back to the point. After stating my opinion Danny stated that this child should NOT marry this person due to their health issues. Another child said that that wasn't very nice ( I did too, it was a mean.) They then said "Are you saying you wouldn't have married Mom then?"

His reply was "No I wouldn't have knowing my children could have inherited Idiopathic Dialated Cardiomyopathy." Now this may have felt like a punch to the stomach for me and my kids were a little upset by his revelation.

But...

He is right. Right?

All of us "damaged" people should be sent off to some far island were we can die alone. Isn't that what Hitler was doing? Who could love us?

I remember Dr. Wang telling me that IDCM is hereditary, my mom has it as well. Tears sprang to my eyes and I though WHAT HAVE I DONE to my kids?! How can this be happening? I would never had kids had I known, although it is not certain that any of them will get it. But I felt and still feel guilty and panic when they tell me their hearts are doing weird things. Things I know all too well.

It also makes me feel that I am undesirable as a wife. I am a throw back.

Just like in the Divergent series, the world wants to get rid of the people who are faulty. The books are not necessarily about health but same guide lines.

I am not going to dwell on this to much longer because it was out of my hands and in no way my fault. I believe that all people need love and companionship especially those who have to deal with the lot God gave them. For they are the strongest people you will ever meet.

Spring is here...

So Danny talked me into going to West Mountain with him for a couple hours of work. Well, it turned out to be 6 hours. After awhile, I went outside to enjoy the warm weather, the beautiful scenery of the farms and to rest after a full days work with a tired heart. While watching farmers out working hard on their farms was fascinating. What under appreciated, hard workers.Then I took these pictures right before my phone went nighty night. Grr... So I sat in the truck, looked through sample magazines and as the day was turning to night, I grabbed a notebook and a pen and planned my funeral in the grey light and then made a grocery list. Once it was dark, I started cursing my husband and the homeowner for taking forever. I was mostly upset that my dreams won't come true but other people's do. Feeling sorry for myself and being jealous is an unattractive thing about me lately. It sure was beautiful though.

Sunday at the Park...

 Little A has been having a hard time with Baby A. She is getting better, but I thought a day out in the warm sun would do her good. This early spring has been the BEST! 65 degrees in March is mostly unheard of.

 Our beloved hammock. It broke with Danny in it later :'(

 So we hung out, slacklined,  and played at the park.

 I wish this picture wasn't blurry. I love this picture of Cindy and Little A.

I held Baby A the whole  time. She is too precious.

 Weirdo.

 Cutie pie.

 I have really gotten to know Hot Grandma Cindy and I just love her to death.

What a beautiful day!

Introducing...

Auria Belle born February 24 @12:40 pm | 7 lbs 12 oz | 20 inches

I am one proud Aunt again!

Due to not having a car (mine won't start) Danny had to drive me to the hospital for Autumn's induction. I got there early and waited for them.

Autumn did really well until they gave her the epidural. She went into active labor really soon after. I had just sent Austin and his mom Cindy down to get some lunch when I realized she was wanting to push. I immediately called Austin back but he didn't answer. My mom ran out to get the nurse and I kept telling my sister NOT to push. 

The doctor and baby team got there just in time as did Austin and Cindy. Whew!

I spent the whole day helping my sister and loving every minute of it. Seeing Auria's beautiful eyes open and her little cry was so beautiful. When Auctober came she was excited to see her baby sister, Aunya was until she moved. Then she didn't know what to think of a moving baby. She loves her baby dolls and must have been so confused by a real baby. It is so cute and funny.

To Autumn and Austin:

I love the two of you more than you could possibly imagine and your girls are the one of the highlights of my life. Thank you for letting me love and spoil your kids like I did Amber's. All my nieces and nephews mean the world to me.

You two have done a great job at parenting and giving those kids everything they need. I am proud of you both.

Winter Blues...

Driving home from my mom's house we were welcomed by the beauty of winter. 

I do admit winter is NOT my favorite time of year, but I still can appreciate the beauty it brings.

Winter Beauty...

Being the snowshoeing lover that I am, I decided to get Danny snowshoes for Christmas. Taisha and I got some last year and we tried to go once, but there was not any snow last year. And to top it off, Danny lost his rentals which cost us a hefty amount, so he said he wouldn't rent any this year.

 

The snow was a little packed and crunchy on the paths but soft and heavenly up higher.

We even took Sasha and her new dog pack that Taisha got for Christmas. Sasha LOVED tromping around and even had admirers. She is a pretty dog.

Sasha come, and turn...

No wait stay...

Fine go!

Our little adventurer. A girl after my own heart but so much braver.

I loved how the light lit up spot of trees.

Taisha is wondering what's taking us so long? I kept stopping to take pictures. Going down was so much easier than up.

Danny told me to go stand by Taisha so I did. LOL

We are funny!

Our Snowshoe star. Maybe we needed more water at this point. LOL

I was so giggly that day. I just LOVE being in the outdoors. It is my anxiety reliever.

I sure love this man!