Its raining...its pouring...Its SO COLD!

After record wet and near record cold... we finally get a nice break.

May has been the wettest on record in Utah, with 5-plus inches of water.

Much warmer today and tomorrow.

I for one, am going to spend as much of it outside that I can!!

Taisha's Orchestra Performance...

?, Natalie and Taisha

Why are they looking at me that way? 

It was weird. I told them I was going to take a picture and they both did this. 

They must have planned it.

I hope Mrs. Graves taught her it was a viola and not a guitar. Sheesh. LOL

IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY...

~ The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers. ~ 

We have been living in a situation that causes Danny and I to want to flee to somewhere where it is always sunny...happy...and constant.

Their is no place.


For so many years Danny has fought to be successful and provide for his family. He also looked out for his employees. He still has employees show up at our house and thank Danny for being the best boss they have ever had. A lot of them even apologize and tell him they didn't know how good they had it.


So...


When will I be able to wake up without the feeling of dread and that ever so constant knot in my stomach?


When will we both feel like we are worth something.


When will we stop feeling like we are failures to our children?


Why are they being punished because of us?


I have spent many hours fretting and hiding in my little closet...literally...laying on the floor...not having the strength to shed a tear...just laying there unable to move, like the ground was a the strongest magnet, for hours.




Pathetic?


We already know the answer to that one.


Lately, however...


I have been pretty happy. I still have fear and anxiety, but I can laugh. 


I seriously thought I would never feel joy and have the ability to REALLY smile, let alone laugh.


I know I am stronger. I don't know what the next hour will bring, but I will keep fighting this battle that has thus far been never ending. I have felt the love from my Heavenly Father and felt the joyous miracles that he has given me...


I know he won't make things picture perfect for me, because that is not what life is about. He wants me to find my way and over come adversity.


And I will keep trying. I will not give up and lay in the closet again, unless for some odd reason I pass out there. 

How interesting...Bon Jovi is singing about how you have to keep the faith...Little whispers...

Now more than ever...

 I have been thinking about the world today...Tornados...Earthquakes...Tsunamis...Floods...War

Danny and I went and bought these nice backpacks that were are clearance for $3.00 a piece. We started collecting things, and then I realized, I am a camper, I know what I need, or so I thought...

 The plastic bags are a must due to us most likely having a flood. Even with an Earthquake, we will see the dams break. I am pretty sure of this...

 The light bracelets I never would have thought of, but what a great idea. Help you see each other better.

I got these cool ideas and pictures from how does she

It would probably be good to do one for your pets too.

Strawberry Rhubarb Sauce...

Strawberry Rhubarb Sauce

Prep Time: 10 Minutes Cook Time: 10 Minutes Ready In: 20 Minutes Servings: 20

"A simple strawberry rhubarb sauce that tastes great as a topping on vanilla ice cream or pancakes."

Ingredients:

2/3 cup white sugar 1/2 cup orange juice 5 teaspoons cornstarch 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 cups sliced fresh strawberries 1 cup sliced rhubarb 5 drops red food coloring (optional)

Directions:

1.

Combine sugar, orange juice, cornstarch, and vanilla in a large sauce pan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add strawberries and rhubarb; reduce heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and mash the cooked berries with a fork. Stir in food coloring, if using. Serve warm or cold.

Rhubarb Sour Cream Pie...

Rhubarb Sour Cream Pie

Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 55 Minutes Ready In: 1 Hour 10 Minutes Servings: 8

"This is a favorite in our house during rhubarb season. My husband who doesn't care much for rhubarb loves this pie. It has a creamy sweet tart tang."

Ingredients:

1 (9 inch) unbaked pie crust 4 cups chopped fresh rhubarb 1 egg 1 1/2 cups white sugar 1 cup sour cream

1/3 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup butter, melted

Directions:

1.	Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (220 degrees C).
2.	Press the pie crust into a 9 inch pie pan. Spread rhubarb in an even layer in the bottom of the crust. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg, white sugar, sour cream and 1/3 cup of flour until smooth. Pour over the rhubarb.
3.	In a small bowl, mix together 1/2 cup of flour and brown sugar. Stir in melted butter until the mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle over the top of the pie.
4.	Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the heat to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Continue to bake for 40 minutes, or until the edges have puffed, and the topping is golden. The center may still be slightly jiggly. Cool completely before slicing and serving.

Rhubarb-Raspberry Crunch...

Rhubarb-Raspberry Crunch

Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 45 Minutes Ready In: 1 Hour Servings: 24

"Rhubarb summer refresher. A yummy blend of rhubarb and raspberries surrounded by a brown sugar and oats crust. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream or pour on some half and half."

Ingredients:

1 cup white sugar 1 tablespoon instant tapioca 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1/8 teaspoon salt 4 cups rhubarb, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

1 cup raspberries 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup quick cooking oats 1/2 cup butter, chilled

Directions:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.
2.	In a large bowl, combine sugar, tapioca, cornstarch and salt. Place rhubarb and raspberries into bowl making sure to completely coat them with dry ingredients. Pour into baking pan.
3.	In a medium bowl, mix together brown sugar, flour and oats. Cut in butter until mixture resembles pea-sized crumbs. Spread on top of fruit mixture.
4.	Bake in preheated oven for 45 minutes, or until rhubarb is tender.

Ideas for Taisha's Rhubarb...

Strawberry Rhubarb Upside Down Cake

One of my favorite spring flavor combinations is strawberry and rhubarb and every year, I love experimenting with recipes that include them. My Strawberry Cake is sweet and aromatic while the Rhubarb Topping is a bit tart, really buttery, and delicious. Desserts really don't get any homier than this.
Rhubarb Topping:
3/4 cups butter (1 1/2 cubes)
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar (not packed)
3 cups fresh rhubarb, cut into 1/2" - 3/4" chunks
Add butter and brown sugar to a saucepan and cook over medium high heat until butter is melted and sugar has dissolved. Pour into a 13"x9" baking pan. Top with the rhubarb chunks and set aside while you prepare the Strawberry Cake batter.
  
Strawberry Cake:
2 heaping cups fresh strawberries, blended to produce 1 1/2 cups
2 1/2 cups flour
2 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Wash and hull strawberries and quarter. Blend strawberries and measure out 1 1/2 cups of the mixture. Set aside.

Add flour, sugar, salt, and baking soda to a mixing bowl and stir together. Add butter, milk, and the strawberry mixture and beat at medium speed, scraping bowl as needed, for one minute. Add eggs and beat on high for two minutes, scraping bowl as needed. Pour batter atop the Rhubarb Topping in the baking pan. Bake for 45-50 minutes until the cake is set in the center, and a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool for five minutes. After five minutes, loosen cake from edges of the pan with a spatula and invert onto a cooling rack or platter.


Serve cake at room temperature as the cake and rhubarb are most flavorful after they've cooled.




 I have been looking for some recipes for the great supply of rhubarb we have. This one looks good and I can't wait to make it! Taisha has loved rhubarb since she tried it at Aunt Maxine's house. I grew up eating at my Grandma Nilsson's house. We would sit in the backyard eating it on a hot summers day. Oh Rhubarb brings back wonderful memories! I got this recipe from The Farm Chicks

LOL...

Sadly, I actually had this happen to me. LOL

I love signs...

Graham Hess: People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?

  (I am definately in group number 1!)

Merrill: One time, I was at this party... and I was sitting on the couch with Amanda McKinney. She was just sitting there, looking beautiful. So, I lean in to kiss her, and I realize I have gum in my mouth. So, I turn to spit it out and put it in a paper cup. I turn back, and Amanda McKinney throws up all over herself. I knew the moment it happened, it was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. It would have scarred me for life. I may never have recovered.

Graham Hess: There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone.

Foil helmets, so they can't read our minds.

*******************************************************************************

Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
Graham Hess: Its just static, Morgan. Frequency.
[Weird noises come from the baby monitor]
Morgan: It's a code.
Bo: Why can't they get girlfriends? 

*******************************************************************************

Graham Hess: Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers are back.
Merrill: It's time for an ass-whupping.
Graham Hess: This is not an intelligent way to approach this. Lee is a friend of mine. This is his son.
Merrill: Yeah, we'll be doing Lee a favor. All right, listen, we both go outside, move around the house in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side.
Graham Hess: Explain "act crazy".
Merrill: You know, curse and stuff.
Graham Hess: You want me to curse?
Merrill: You don't mean it. It's just for show. What?
Graham Hess: Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
Merrill: Just make noises, then.
Graham Hess: Explain "noises".
Merrill: Are you gonna do this or what?
Graham Hess: No, I'm not.
Merrill: All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time?
[outside light comes on]
Merrill: On the count of three. One...
Graham Hess: All right.
Merrill: two... three!
Graham Hess: Ahh! I'm insane with anger!
Merrill: We're gonna beat your ass bitch! We're gonna tear your head off!
Graham Hess: I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!
[Merrill and Graham meet each other]
Graham Hess: I cursed.
Merrill: I heard.
[rustling on the roof]
Merrill: How did he get... Are you sure this is Lionel Prichard?


(When I saw this scene, I laughed so hard. Graham (Mel Gibson) doesn't swear naturally. LOL, have you seen his other movies. I all tied together making me laugh.

*****************************************************************************
Merrill: There are a lot of things I can take, and some things I can't. But what I can't take is when my older brother, who's everything that I want to be, starts losing faith in things. I saw that look in your eyes last night. I don't ever want to see that look in your eyes again.

It's amazing how we don't realize how much other people look up to us and our faith. Our actions can attract people who need a strong person with faith. And when we loose it, it brings those who we are examples to, down with us. Faith is one thing that we work on continually

All things paper...

 I think these look like something I could try. 

My luck, they would fall apart as soon as I let go. LOL

imeondesign 

 These are pretty. They call them paper chandeliers.

 gretelhome

I can't believe how cool these are. Bowls made of paper. Some people are too creative for me.

 modern urban style

Newspaper dress...No one could really wear this could they?

 weddingsparrow

Now I am going to make one of these. I love the paper flowers.

 serendipitous-design

Good advice...

ParadaCreations has some fun art to buy on Etsy. I like her style.

 

Rustic Jewelry...

http://www.etsy.com/shop/ssdjewelry

I love her style of jewelry. I only wish I had some money to buys some.

Sigh...

McKenna turns 15...

So...
We celebrated McKenna's Birthday all weekend.

Friday...
Her BFF Ashley, had a surprise party with Tinkerbell cupcakes and BBQ chips, McKenna's favorite. Sadly, one of her friends had to do her best to make it a sad party for my girl. That girl is sooooo on my crap list. 

Saturday...
Taisha wanted to take us to do the tradition of going to Mimi's for a muffin when Danny is dirt bike riding. Thank you Taisha!

Then...
I spent 4 hours at McKenna's Ballroom competition. Her school placed 3rd! She is so good! I enjoyed watching her. She is so amazing!

Afterwards...
All of us got home at the same time, except for Skyler who went to MORP. We made McKenna's favorite meal...Lasagne with garlic bread. Sadly, we didn't have salad. Then we made the caramel chocolate cake. It was so goooood. And we watched a movie together.

Sunday...
I bought her a COKE and we went to Beckhams baby blessing. She was excited to see her cousins, but was a little sad Erica didn't come.

15 years ago, I had my dream come true of having a little angel girl. She was exactly the little girl I had always knew I would have, down to her blue eyes and blond curly hair. Always so sweet, and a little mischievous to keep things so interesting.

I want McKenna Rose to know that she is and always will be my sweet angel. I love you!