Friday, April 26, 2013

My ramblings...

 My sister Amber helped Alisha and McKenna make these for me when I was in the hospital.
I just hung them by my bed so I can look at them as I fall asleep. Now I need ones with the other two.
 I bought a medical bracelet so if I am unconscious with no one I know, they will know my conditions and meds. The other one a lady made me when she heard my story.
It says heart failure, Stroke, survivor. Thank you for thinking of me and making me smile and a positive way to look at what happend to me.

 I visited with one of my cardiologists.
 I got bored and took pictures of the info in the room
 This is your heart
 This is inside your heart.
 This side is weird looking.
 Brain and heart functions.
 This made me remember the late actor John Ritter and I miss him. HE was cool!
The bruised fingers after, being poked to death, to tell me I am taking too much
Warfarin (rat poison)

So we now know to change the dosage AGAIN.
Joy. NOT.

I would absolutely prefer to bleed to death than have another stroke. That was the worst thing ever! The procedure to extract them still haunts my dreams.

I sure love that I have been given a second chance at life and still feel a little scared, and know that I still have unfun test to have done and anything can happen.

For now, I just want to be happy and enjoy my life in the moment with those who truly matter.

Anxiety will always be with me, but I am doing much better at dealing with and controlling it.

I will keep trying to be a good and loving person to the best that I can do. I will stand up for me and what I believe in. I will be me.

I can be happy!
It's up to me.

Those who would rather see me hurt or dead don't bother me anymore.
I don't hurt and it doesn't bother me, but if they take it out on my kids...WATCH OUT! I am coming for you. Hopefully, we will never see those negative, selfish people again. If they have a problem with me or Danny, they can take it up with God to find forgiveness. I have forgiven and moved waaaayy on.


On a different note, my therapist is loving an Idea I have of finding inner peace and chasing away my demons.

He asked me if it would be okay to teach this technique to his other patients. I said go for it.

I always wanted to be a child psychologist. It is in me.



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